Supporting Adolescent Girls: Dr. Lisa Damour's Visit to The Baldwin School

On a typical day, Baldwin's campus is alive and buzzing. However, there was extra excitement on February 5 when The Baldwin School hosted Dr. Lisa Damour, a nationally recognized psychologist, author, and expert in adolescent development. From the chatter in the halls to the standing-room-only presentations, it was clear that everyone on campus was eager for a day filled with enriching discussions and insights from Middle and Upper School students, faculty, staff and parents.

 

Dr. Damour's visit was significant for the Baldwin community as she shared her expertise on adolescent girls' social and emotional development. Many national conversations focus on how today's girls face a range of complex challenges, including pressures from academics, friendships and social media, making it essential to support their growth both intellectually and emotionally. As a national leader in all-girls education, The Baldwin School not only embraces the challenge of holistically supporting girls, but we are constantly striving to nurture their academic excellence, emotional well-being, confidence and self-love.

 

Dr. Damour is renowned for her research and best-selling books, including Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Her work has been a beacon of guidance for families and educators alike, offering practical advice for empowering young girls to navigate the unique and often turbulent journey of adolescence. At Baldwin, Dr. Damour's visit underscored the importance of providing young women with tools to build resilience in facing life’s challenges.

 

One of the core themes of Dr. Damour’s multiple presentations was redefining our understanding of mental health. Who told us that you should be happy all of the time? No matter who started or perpetuated this new narrative of constant happiness to our detriment, Dr. Damour made a point to redefine our understanding of mental health in all her presentations. “Mental health doesn’t mean feeling happy all the time,” she explained. Instead, it’s about having the appropriate response to situations and the appropriate coping mechanisms necessary to manage them. Dr. Damour encouraged students, parents and educators to embrace the full spectrum of emotions, emphasizing that it is entirely normal to experience discomfort, sadness or anxiety — feelings that often accompany growth and development.

 

“How we cope with stress and adversity is a key part of mental health,” Dr. Damour shared. She highlighted the fact that stress itself isn’t inherently harmful. When paired with healthy coping mechanisms, stress can be an invaluable tool for growth. “School is often viewed as hard because it is hard. It’s supposed to be hard because that’s where the growth and learning happens,” Dr. Damour said, urging her audience to embrace challenges as opportunities for mental and emotional development.

 

This message resonated with Middle School student Sloane Skoglund ’30, who reflected, “I realized that mental health was not just not being happy, but having the right emotions at the right time.”

 

In a dynamic exercise, Dr. Damour led students to imagine their “worst day possible” and then explore strategies for coping. This exercise, which was designed to show that even the most difficult moments can be managed, was a fun and empowering reminder for students that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, but how we choose to respond matters most.

 

Growth can be challenging and painful, but we develop into resilient humans with the right strategies. While intentionally avoiding too many platitudes and theories, Dr. Damour spent most of her time sharing concrete tools for managing stress and fostering emotional well-being. She emphasized the importance of healthy coping strategies, such as social connection, engaging distractions and conscientious self-care. “Prioritize sleep, physical activity and eating well,” she advised, underscoring how these practices help us remain resilient under pressure. “Distracting yourself with a favorite TV show or playlist is a great coping mechanism.” 

 

Dr. Damour suggested a simple yet effective approach for parents and teachers when managing a student's emotional moments. “Listen without interruption, offer sincere empathy and validate the distress,” she explained. Often, acknowledging the difficulty of a situation and showing support is enough to help young people navigate intense emotions.

 

“Be a steady presence in your teen’s life,” Dr. Damour advised parents, stressing that resisting the urge to “fix” everything for them is essential. “Allow them to struggle and experience discomfort — that’s where growth happens.”

 

Jessica Reardon (P ’28) shared her personal takeaway from Dr. Damour’s advice: "I appreciated the idea that teens want to talk about what’s happening in their lives, but on their schedule rather than ours. It was a great reminder about how important it is for parents to be available and open whenever our teens are ready to chat!”

 

In the days following Dr. Damour’s presentation, Baldwin’s faculty, students and parents continued to reflect on the insights shared. Emily Woodward (P ’29) expressed how the talk had equipped her to support her daughter better, saying, “It was incredible that such a famous author visited Baldwin! I am now equipped not only with the knowledge that this is natural behavior but also strategies to improve my reactions. Dr. Damour helped me become a better parent. By being calm and following her suggested steps, our lives are more peaceful, and I feel like my daughter is learning how to process her difficulties healthily. A moment that particularly stood out to me was when Dr. Damour said that our children should struggle and that it's ok to be unhappy because that is where growth happens. If we want our children to mature into confident adults, they need to experience ALL the range of emotions, from sad and depressed to happy and joyful so they understand that they WILL be able to come out the other side.”

 

For students like senior Riya Rao ’25, the message that not every day needs to be perfect was particularly impactful. “It was refreshing to hear her normalize the ups and downs of life,” Riya shared. “That reframing helped me think differently about my own experiences.”

 

For Baldwin’s faculty, Dr. Damour’s visit was an opportunity to revisit the language used when addressing student behavior. According to MS and US English Teacher and 7th-grade advisor Brittney Chan, the session offered tangible strategies for supporting students. "Dr. Damour gave very concrete tools that faculty could use when working with students. I liked the techniques she shared on letting students feel heard," she explained.  

 

Science teacher Heather Wilson agreed, noting that students resonated deeply with the idea that self-care is integral to success. “It was just as important for them to know that the adults at school support the same message,” she said.

 

Baldwin’s ongoing commitment to supporting the emotional development of its students doesn’t end with a single presentation. Following Dr. Damour’s visit, students will continue to discuss feelings and strategies for managing emotions. This includes Baldwin’s Middle School students exploring clips from the Disney-Pixar film Inside Out 2, which Dr. Damour herself consulted on. This film, which follows a 13-year-old girl navigating new emotions like anxiety, is a powerful tool for understanding the complexities of adolescence.

 

In the Upper School, faculty continued the discussion in their monthly faculty meeting, focusing on the pros and cons of "coasting," as described by Dr. Damour. They noted that while boys may excel at the "art of the 89.5," girls often strive for perfection, which can prevent them from finding more efficient ways to achieve academic goals. Teachers recognized that when a student prioritizes one subject over another to conserve resources, it doesn't mean she isn't engaged — she is simply shifting focus to where it’s most needed at the time. Faculty emphasized the importance of celebrating each student's unique journey, knowing it may look different for each individual. Their discussions will continue in smaller group conversations, covering topics like managing classroom behavior, handling difficult conversations, knowing when to seek support, and addressing interpersonal conflict.

 

At Baldwin, Dr. Damour’s insights are not just theory but part of a more significant commitment to empowering young women to take charge of their mental and emotional health. With tools, resources and a supportive community, Baldwin gives its students the foundation they need to grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to face the world’s challenges with courage and grace.